Relationships are hard work. But they’re worth it. The hardest part for me in having a successful relationship (whether romantically, with friends, or with family) is in realizing that not everyone thinks and loves in the same way that I do. We all have different love languages.
The 5 Love Languages, made popular by Gary Chapman, talks about the five various love languages, what they mean, and how to love those with that love language.
What are they?
· Words of Affirmation – verbally telling people you care
· Acts of Service – showing other people you care
· Receiving Gifts – giving to show you care
· Quality time – spending time to show that you care
· Physical touch – hugging, kissing, and more to show that you care
Reading the 5 love languages made me feel like I am a little bit of each five depending on who it the person on the other end is and what I am feeling that day. As I get older I realize that hearing I love you is a lot less important to me than someone doing tiny tasks that prove they love me, such as showing up to support me at a walk or helping me with laundry or homework.
On the 5 Love Languages website they offer a profile assessment to determine what your love language is and to explore more about it. Upon taking the assessment, I determined that my love language is acts of service. People helping me out and committing to me shows their love and appreciation. When someone breaks a promise or adds more to my work load when they know I am already under a lot of stress, is the ultimate way to tell me that they do not care about me and my feelings.
Unfortunately I can’t go around wearing a sign on my forehead that says Acts of Service. If I could, people would know better how to love me. If I knew everyone else in my life’s love languages, I could be a better friend, sister, girlfriend, daughter, teacher, and student.
What’s your love language?